Staff Book Review

Meet Phyllis – Phyllis is a library services specialist at the Gray Branch Library. In her free time, she enjoys playing with her dog, walking, reading cozy mysteries, novels, and nonfiction, and listening to or watching podcasts and YouTube videos.

This month, Phyllis reviews The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More

by Jefferson Fisher!

A trial lawyer in Texas, Jefferson Fisher started filming short videos with tips on everyday conversation, while sitting in his parked pickup truck on his way home from his office. He wanted to speak directly to people and give them something of value, with no gimmicks.

At the end of each video, he had a call to action: “Try that and follow me.”

Since 1922, Jefferson has gained more than 9 million followers across social media platforms and was recently named to the Time 100 Creators of 2026.

His bestselling book, The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More, gives readers a written formula to refer to when they know “what” they want to say, but don’t know “how” to do so.

“Don’t buy into the lie that you need to win an argument,” says Jefferson. “Winning means that you’ve likely lost something far more valuable – their trust, respect, or worse, the connection.”

Fisher’s three–step approach to successful conversations is: “Say it with control. Say it with confidence. Say it to connect.”

He explains how your body and your emotions control your response in a conversation. Physical and psychological triggers are involved for both parties. When you start to understand your own reactions and triggers, you’ll also begin to identify the signs in the other person.

The chapter on assertiveness is very interesting. Fisher includes ten lessons on practicing assertiveness, which then will lead to confidence. He advises taking one of the lessons and applying it to your next conversation. “You’ll start by building a vocabulary of assertive words and commonly used phrases that conveys confidence without aggression.”

“Defensiveness is the suit of armor you put on when you feel triggered,” he adds. To prevent getting defensive, he suggests pausing for five to ten seconds and then imagining their words falling to the ground. Then, don’t pick them back up.

“Defuse the defensiveness of others by beginning your response with “I” and not “you.” Use phrases that first acknowledge what they said instead of immediately responding with your own position,” says Jefferson.

He also has sections on dealing with insults, belittling, rudeness, bad apologies, being interrupted, and building boundaries. There is a summary at the end of each chapter that condenses the main points for easy reference.

I really like this book and will refer to it often when I am dealing with difficult conversations. I would suggest that listening to the audiobook is also very helpful for hearing his tone of voice along with the words he uses.